Dire Weasels: A real(ish) play 5e Dungeons and Dragons podcast Once described as if D&D and Cards Against Humanity had a baby. That seems fairly close.

February 4, 2016  
Everyone loves a sweet text adventure! Well, maybe not everyone, but most people... right? Fine, how about amusement parks? REALLY? You're not even amused by the prospect of wild rides and sweet snack truck food? Playing hard ball eh? What if there was 100 bucks in it for ya, huh kid? Maybe even more... Join John and Forrest as they traverse TRACTION PARK, a thrilling amusement park, with a little more insanity and humor than most parks. 

Your @DireWeasels are Forrest @walk6070, Ivana @arcanevice, John @absurdistkobold, Cody @codedude3, Matt @chalupabatman27, and Mollie @eskimomo9! 

All rights to certain media go to their respective owners, Action Park Theme to whoever made it, and K. N. Granger for TRACTION PARK the Out Loud Text Adventure copyright by Goldfinch Games.

 
Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels. Feel free to visit direweasels.podbean.com
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December 25, 2015  

Happy Holiday(s) of choice, ladies and gents! The Ghostbusters rpg got a little out of hand and we ended up with some tasty bloopers. Thanks to @maybehiroshi for running the game and editing the epic result.

@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070, @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, and @eskimomo9

Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels. We have some new blurbs on the cast and characters page, which you can find at direweasels.podbean.com.
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December 22, 2015  

The gang (minus Forrest who was trying to better his life through passing his finals like a chump) get together and play the Ghostbusters rpg with special starguest/DM/guest editor Hiro (@maybehiroshi) with the participants displaying varying degrees of knowledge with the intellectual property involved. 47 hours of audio were trimmed into the tight 2 hours (or so) we ended up with here, thanks to his expert scalpel. Anyway, things happen, though I am about to give it the first listen (and it has been a couple of weeks) so I couldn't say for certain what. I could say that it will be a lot of fun.

@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070 (not appearing), @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, and @eskimomo9

Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels. We have some new blurbs on the cast and characters page, which you can find at direweasels.podbean.com.
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December 12, 2015  

Things get a little dark and edgy in this, the second part of the Wonderland Park Fiasco play set with special guest star Gwynn!

@direweasels are: Sexton Hardpenis @absurdistkobold, Hugh G. Dyck @walk6070, @chalupabatman27(not appearing in this episode), Herman Marshall @arcanevice, and Sarah Marshall @eskimomo9. Special guest star Jack Softsalot (Gwynn) @Cannoncanons
 
Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels

 

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December 8, 2015  

Lets keep it simple, this week the weasels play the Wonderland Park Fiasco play set with special guest star Gwynn!

@direweasels are: Sexton Hardpenis @absurdistkobold, Hugh G. Dyck @walk6070, @chalupabatman27(not appearing in this episode), Herman Marshall @arcanevice, and Sarah Marshall @eskimomo9. Special guest star Jack Softsalot (Gwynn) @Cannoncanons
 
Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels

 

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November 30, 2015  

Whilst missing our Arboreal Weasel, the remaining four talk for a solid half hour before venturing into a new RPG of the Space variety.

An emotionless android, a hotshot pilot and Madison...I mean a sexy soldier...venture off into the star studded abyss and accomplish nothing. Take a deep breath, close your eyes and let our dulcet tones caress your eardrums once more.

***Disclaimer: Don't close your eyes while driving. Also, stop reading this while driving and on your way home pick us up a bottle of Coke, yeah?***

@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070(not appearing in this episode), @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, and @eskimomo9
 
Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels
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November 16, 2015  

In this weeks episode we pay homage to one of the weasels' favorite podcast the Top 5 of Death (Check them out at www.Top5ofDeath.com) by giving our own top 4 list of Bad Movies. If you would like to vote on who's list you agree with the most, participate on our twitter poll www.twiter.com/direweasels or email us at direweasels@gmail.com .

@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070, @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice (not appearing in this episode), and @eskimomo9
 
Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels
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November 4, 2015  

This week is a very special Halloween episode, the Weasels play the Toil and Trouble Fiasco playset. Also, some spooky stories!

@direweasels are: Nickstella Slinkhard @absurdistkobold, Professor McGilicuddy @chalupabatman27, Nickbella Slinkhard @arcanevice, and Supreme Overseer @eskimomo9
 
Visit our patreon at patreon.com/direweasels, and see if there's anything cool there. Also, rate and review us on itunes. 5 stars is preferred! Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels. Thanks for listening. We're Sorry...
 
Music used in this episode is This Is Halloween by Danny Elfman
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October 12, 2015  

Matt, John, and Ivana get together and try out Chez Geek. John spends a lot of time talking mad shit about the band Train. That's pretty much it.

 
@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070, @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, @eskimomo9. 
 
Visit our patreon at patreon.com/direweasels, and see if there's anything cool there. Also, rate and review us in the district of the internet otherwise known as itunes. Thanks for listening ladies and gents.
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September 20, 2015  

Forrest wasn't able to record in the week that this episode was recorded (#gerboisafalsegod) so the rest of the Weasels soldered on and played Everyone is John. It's pretty damn silly, and Mollie ran the game, so you get to hear her talk a good bit more than in most episodes. This is going up early because we're sorry about the last episode going up late.

 
@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070, @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, @eskimomo9. 
 
Also, we have a patreon now. Feel free to check that out at patreon.com/direweasels. 
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August 17, 2015  

John, Matt, and Mollie play Drinking Quest! Testing...testing...

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July 15, 2015  

Gwynn also makes an appearance in the stream chat. Mort and John stream and mostly talk with Dyrtle while she supplies some of the worst fanfiction imaginable. John attempts to read this in dramatic fashion, but mostly gets upset at the grammar and spelling. This is a weird one, but hopefully it's entertaining for all of you folks.

 
@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070, @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, @eskimomo9, and check out Mort (@mortimaus) and Dyrtle (@dyrtletheturtle), both of whom are awesome and always come through when we at Dire Weasels headquarters need some people to hang out for a non canonical episode.
 
Email us at direweasels@gmail.com and rate and review us at itunes. Also, feel free to visit us at direweasels.podbean.com. If you have any Patreon ideas, feel free to kick them our way, as we will definitely not be dropping that campaign on you all at episode 50.
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June 24, 2015  
Hello Listener (Errr...Reader?)! We're releasing a second boner episode for you because life happened and Matt hates us. Also, sorry it's a day late. It's Beatriz's fault, that lazy cunt, aim all your hate mail toward her. Obviously this episode will be explicit like all the other ones so if this offends you, sucks to be you. 
 

Your hosts of the @DireWeasels Podcast are @absurdistkobold (John "Joe" Venrick, DM), @arcanevice (Ivana "Not Beatriz" Sarmiento, Kung Pao), @chalupabatman27 (Matt Hankins, Norville), @eskimomo9 (Mollie M, Aerrin), and @walk6070 (Forrest Walker, Gerbo).

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May 23, 2015  

Due to some scheduling issues, most of the regular cast couldn't make it this week, so we just decided to play Cards Against Humanity with some of our fans in the Twitch chat. Listener discretion is advised! The @DireWeasels featured in this episode are @absurdistkobold and @walk6070, with special guest star @mortimaus.

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May 15, 2015  

These are the bloopers from back when we used to pull extra bloopers from the episodes (these days they tend to get placed at the end or just left in the episode, so barring anything unexpected, this might be the only bloopersode). Enjoy, everyone. 

 
@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070, @joshslyter, @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, @eskimomo9
 
Email us at direweasels@gmail.com and rate and review us at itunes. Also, feel free to visit us at direweasels.podbean.com.
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May 15, 2015  

We finish the murder mystery that Ivana DM's and continue to be terrible, terrible people. I'm sorry. Really. 

 
Your hosts for the Dire Weasels Podcast are John Venrick - Jamlamin Tyrnth (@absurdistkobold), Matt Hankins - Disembodied voice in the intro bit (@chalupabatman27), Mollie M. - Beeren Nom (@eskimomo9), Ivana Sarmiento -  DM (@arcanevice) Forrest Walker - Nowhere Sopa Trabajo (@walk6070) and Josh Slyter - Randan Nom (@joshslyter). 
 
Find us collectively @direweasels, email us at direweasels@gmail.com and rate and review us at itunes. Also, feel free to visit us at direweasels.podbean.com.
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May 15, 2015  

Ivana took over as DM for a one-shot we played a while back. The idea was to do a murder mystery and we attempted to screw with her as much as possible.


Your hosts for the Dire Weasels Podcast are John Venrick - Jamlamin Tyrnth (@absurdistkobold), Matt Hankins - Disembodied voice in the intro bit (@chalupabatman27), Mollie M. - Beeren Nom (@eskimomo9), Ivana Sarmiento -  DM (@arcanevice) Forrest Walker - Nowhere Sopa Trabajo (@walk6070) and Josh Slyter - Randan Nom (@joshslyter).
 
 
Hopefully I spelled those names right.
 
 
Find us collectively @direweasels, email us at direweasels@gmail.com and rate and review us at itunes. Also, feel free to visit us at direweasels.podbean.com.
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May 15, 2015  

We were without our glorious DM John this week due to him moving and being without an internet connection so we played Fiasco, instead. We get real(ly, because adverbs) drunk and mess up the game in typical weasel fashion, but hopefully you get a few laughs out of it! 

 
Your hosts for the Dire Weasels Podcast are John Venrick - Intro Monkey (@absurdistkobold), Matt Hankins - Herbert Stetson (@chalupabatman27), Mollie M. - Simon Stetson (@eskimomo9), Ivana Sarmiento - Jezebel Icantrememberherlastname (@arcanevice) Forrest Walker - Suzie May Beauregard (@walk6070) and Josh Slyter - Miles O'Brady (@joshslyter).
 
Find us collectively @direweasels, email us at direweasels@gmail.com and rate and review us at itunes. Also, feel free to visit us at direweasels.podbean.com.
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