Dire Weasels: A real(ish) play 5e Dungeons and Dragons podcast Once described as if D&D and Cards Against Humanity had a baby. That seems fairly close.

October 16, 2019  

Here's a phrase for ya, Binomial nomenclature. Nomenclature is such a good word too. Starts with "nom" even. Anyway, the cast talks about animals quite a bit in this one. Definition of rodents and what not. Also, cute little John Butt. Damnit Ivana.

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the intoxicated train conductor, trying terribly to stay on the rails. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is just trying to enjoy her dang beer. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is a hunk of burnin' love. Kaleigh, @kleeeee is cronching on some protein. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

October 3, 2019  

Honestly, i barely listen to the episode. They attempt to convert people? I sing? It's great. absolute best content out there. Trust me.

 

 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the intoxicated train conductor, trying terribly to stay on the rails. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is just trying to enjoy her dang beer. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is a hunk of burnin' love. Kaleigh, @kleeeee is cronching on some protein. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

September 26, 2019  

Aaaaand we're back! The gang takes a lovely stroll through the town of Braeburn and ends up at another locally owned business. They decide they want to be helpful too!

 

Thanks for tunng in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the intoxicated train conductor, trying terribly to stay on the rails. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is just trying to enjoy her dang beer. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is a hunk of burnin' love. Kaleigh, @kleeeee is cronching on some protein. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

September 11, 2019  

Be warned, there's some singing. It's not great. Except for Ivana, her singing is perfect. They wake up and have a little chit chat about this new town. They learn some things. Its very cute. Quaint, one might say.

 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the intoxicated train conductor, trying terribly to stay on the rails. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is just trying to enjoy her dang beer. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is a hunk of burnin' love. Kaleigh, @kleeeee is cronching on some protein. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

September 5, 2019  

Hello! Here we have yet another episode as the group travels to a not so far, and not so distant land. We also discuss number preferences? It's a very in-depth discussion, who knew?

 

 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the intoxicated train conductor, trying terribly to stay on the rails. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is just trying to enjoy her dang beer. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is a hunk of burnin' love. Kaleigh, @kleeeee is cronching on some protein. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

 

August 28, 2019  

 

Welp, looks like them adventuring folks are gunna get in a lick of trouble hittin' that thar mayor. Guess we'll figure out what will happen next, or just decide on who eats ass.

Not much else gets done. 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the intoxicated train conductor, trying terribly to stay on the rails. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is just trying to enjoy her dang beer. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is a hunk of burnin' love. Kaleigh, @kleeeee is cronching on some protein. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

August 9, 2019  

Hello, Hello, hello!

We're back in action, the group has finally left the town and they're excited to make new friends. Possibly have a cuppa? Who knows??! You will, when you listen  to this episode.

 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the intoxicated train conductor, trying terribly to stay on the rails. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is just trying to enjoy her dang beer. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is a hunk of burnin' love. Kaleigh, @kleeeee is cronching on some protein. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

July 24, 2019  

Hey, so John said he liked blueberries, then he said he didn't... did I cut that? Hey editor here. Sorry for the delay, Geeklycon is no excuse! Anyway, here's the latest. Just to warn you, it's mostly them just shooting the shit which is rather quite fun! They go to a bar, then out of the bar, and follow a map that's tough to read I think? Rou-rouo raggy! 

 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the intoxicated train conductor, trying terribly to stay on the rails. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is just trying to enjoy her dang beer. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is a hunk of burnin' love. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

July 10, 2019  

Welcome aboard for yet another episode! We start off in that same bar and then finally Barry & Prowler decided to do a thing. There's a special guest star and we almost get something done this episode? It's very exciting! 

 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the intoxicated train conductor, trying terribly to stay on the rails. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is just trying to enjoy her dang beer. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is a hunk of burnin' love. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

June 27, 2019  

JOHN SPLITS THE PARTY!

The gang is suspicious and starts to investigate Wendy. There's Action! Adventure! Mystery! Tune in and listen to us do something or other.

 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the drunk driver at the wheel. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is our single saving grace that keeps our heads above water. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is eating something weird again. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

June 5, 2019  

Hey. Ivana is away, so I'm doing some stuff.
Anyway, crew tries to come up with a plan and hangs out in a bar. And tries to contemplate their situation. Which isn't very strange to kill rats in a basement and get a new god so get off Ivana's ass! Unless that's cool? Idk. Have fun.

 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the drunk driver at the wheel. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is our single saving grace that keeps our heads above water. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is eating something weird again. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

May 31, 2019  

AHOY THERE!

 

Our grand and noble adventurers are back and ready to attack... rats? The DM used the OLDEST RPG TROPE in the book this week. What a cheapskate. But also, Forrest chugs... pudding? The episode isn't half bad y'all, check it out!

 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the drunk driver at the wheel. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is our single saving grace that keeps our heads above water. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is eating something weird again. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

May 16, 2019  

Helloooo and welcome back. This week the gang checks out the sights and smells of Bent Falls. They make friends and try to convert people. John's character is STILL alive.

 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the drunk driver at the wheel. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is our single saving grace that keeps our heads above water. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is eating something weird again. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

May 9, 2019  

THAT'S RIGHT WE'RE BACK AND IVANA IS IN CHARGE!

 

It's been nice knowing you all, we've had a good run.

 

Anyways, our new adventurer's find themselves in some blandness. They're rescued by a cute little weasel and a QVC lady. It's definitely a world building episode and John's character hasn't died yet.

 

Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the drunk driver at the wheel. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is our single saving grace that keeps our heads above water. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is eating something weird again. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.  

Hello and welcome back!

 

Oh wait, that's us. We're the ones back. This is just an update on the current state of the podcast and the change up on our Patreon tiers. Mostly it's us goofing off. We look forward to releasing some good good new content for y'all, thanks for sticking it out with us. 

 

 

February 11, 2019  

Hey all, I know we haven't been posting much lately, and there are some behind the scenes things happening, so I wanted to take a moment to let you all know what is happening in weaseland. If it sounds shitty, it's because it was one take with no script, so I just said things as they occurred to me. Thanks for sticking with us.

January 22, 2019  

New town, new things to worry about! Why do we never worry about things in the woods? I don't know, I know I'm the DM and could do that, and blame it on the rolls most of the time, I don't like doing forest stuff apparently? And I don't mean "Forrest", he's cool.  Anyway, the crew hangs around Creslia, a town with nothing wrong with it, I think? Again, DM here, I don't know anything. Promise. I would say some things come to a crescendo? Or like that part of a roller coaster that goes up. Fun. Everyone get scared. ... *boo*

Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony

You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.com
Maybe help us pay for our insanity and subsequent incarceration by donating to us at patreon.com/direweasels 
Dire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group of podcasts growing together to have fun and better themselves, hopefully.

January 16, 2019  

Finally back on track to Pallet Town! After that last town, hopefully this next one has some time for rest and relaxation! I mean, there was a death, several in fact, some things revealed, and some confrontations happened. Hopefully there is no more of that. Hopefully... With "hammer" in hand, a once mentor dead, and two... THREE strange companions, the crew goes off to their next destination. 

Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony

You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.com
Maybe help us pay for our insanity and subsequent incarceration by donating to us at patreon.com/direweasels
Dire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group of podcasts growing together to have fun and better themselves, hopefully.

January 9, 2019  

The time has come, the crew has made their way through the super, past the happy, made whoope with the fun, and decided against the being murdered. Saved people, i don't know what happened. Does anyone actually read these? Seriously! There's some awesome info here! Like look at all that below! Anyway, it's time for the final battle. After this, Forrest comes back and we continue on with our main campaign, but until then... just like Halo 3, it's time to FINISH THE FIGHT! Well, it hasn't even started so... 
The Module is by Luciella Elisabeth Scarlett and can be found on dmsguild.com, go support them there! 

Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

Our guest this time is Jonny, and you can find him on twitter @SolventBubbles. He's a good boy and go check him out!

Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony

You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.com
Maybe help us pay for our insanity and subsequent incarceration by donating to us at patreon.com/direweasels 
Dire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group of podcasts growing together to have fun and better themselves, hopefully.

December 19, 2018  

The travel continues, with one nasty party member down, and adding another party member aboard! However, now we enter the deepest parts of the dungeon. With their mission fulfilled, can the party find their way out? What awaits them further down in this murder dungeon? How many more ridiculous antics can their be? And... a Puzzle? (Oh god, I hope the puzzle is entertaining at least.)
The Module is by Luciella Elisabeth Scarlett and can be found on dmsguild.com, go support them there! 

Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

Our guest this time is Jonny, and you can find him on twitter @SolventBubbles. He's a good boy and go check him out!

Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony

You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.com
Maybe help us pay for our insanity and subsequent incarceration by donating to us at patreon.com/direweasels 
Dire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group of podcasts growing together to have fun and better themselves, hopefully.

December 12, 2018  

This week, we find some friends down in the dungeon, talk about how much stuff smells, maybe summon a demon...? This is a wild romp through the second level of the mad mad dungeon! I mean, SUPER HAPPY FUN MURDER TIME! Also, looks like there is a change in the cast... silly DMCA's
The Module is by Luciella Elisabeth Scarlett and can be found on dmsguild.com, go support them there! 

Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

Our guest this time is Jonny, and you can find him on twitter @SolventBubbles. He's a good boy and go check him out!

Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony

You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.com
Maybe help us pay for our insanity and subsequent incarceration by donating to us at patreon.com/direweasels 
Dire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group of podcasts growing together to have fun and better themselves, hopefully.

November 28, 2018  

I tried to find out if there was a terrifying yellow color, but it just brought me to a page full of phobias, which I did not care for. It looked like there was a needle through some ladies lip, and I didn't want that. You know what I do want? And you want to? This episode. It's a bit on the shorter side, but I think it's still full of laughs. If you listen to some of Cody's other shows, you may catch a small goof in here. Tweet at us if you see it! Anyway...
The Module is by Luciella Elisabeth Scarlett and can be found on dmsguild.com, go support them there! 

Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

Our guest this time is Jonny, and you can find him on twitter @SolventBubbles. He's a good boy and go check him out!

Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony

You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.com
Maybe help us pay for our insanity and subsequent incarceration by donating to us at patreon.com/direweasels 
Dire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group of podcasts growing together to have fun and better themselves, hopefully.

 
 
November 21, 2018  

Time for an ARBITRARY! This time, we are playing a super indie game called DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS FIFTH EDITION! I heard the team worked very hard on it. It went through Beta Tests for the longest time. It's very good, I hope it becomes popular, and I hope you heard it here for the first time! 
ANYWAY, we are playing a module called... "Yeryls Super Happy Fun Murder Dungeon"! It sounds like a great time and we can't wait to have Super, and have that Happy, and definitely some FUN, and last but not least... Mur... der... wait...
The Module is by Luciella Elisabeth Scarlett and can be found on dmsguild.com, go support them there! 

Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

Our guest this time is Jonny, and you can find him on twitter @SolventBubbles. He's a good boy and go check him out!

Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony

You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.com
Maybe help us pay for our insanity and subsequent incarceration by donating to us at patreon.com/direweasels 
Dire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group of podcasts growing together to have fun and better themselves, hopefully.

November 7, 2018  

Greetings Mustelidae! No episode this week... However we do have some news! A little bit at least... 

Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony

You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.com
Maybe help us pay for our insanity and subsequent incarceration by donating to us at patreon.com/direweasels 
Dire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group of podcasts growing together to have fun and better themselves, hopefully.

October 31, 2018  

Back at it again in Davesdale! Well, the caves outside Davesdale but that's close enough. Crew decided to see what these accusations the priests of B.O.B were spouting. Anyone remember what B.O.B stands for? It's kind of dumb, kind of intriguing, and if you do "at" me on Twitter, maybe I send you something? OOOOO, price time! Let's see if anyone actually reads this stuff! Anyway, things get intense this episode, and word of warning, maybe a bit much for those with children... No seriously. Anyway, GO VOTE. (ALSO holy crap this is releasing on HALLOWEEN! We should have PLANNED BETTER!!! SPOOK'EMS!!!)

Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony

And just to cover our butts, the music used for the ending cliff hanger is "Impending Boom" from incomptech.com, from the illustrious Kevin MacLeod. It's under a Creative Commons liscence, more info can be found at incomptech.com. Go Check It Out!

You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.com
Maybe help us pay for our insanity and subsequent incarceration by donating to us at patreon.com/direweasels 
Dire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group of podcasts growing together to have fun and better themselves, hopefully.

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