Dire Weasels: A real(ish) play 5e Dungeons and Dragons podcast Once described as if D&D and Cards Against Humanity had a baby. That seems fairly close.

July 27, 2017  

Making my way downtown. 

 

Walking fast. Faces passed.

The adventure continues! (or ends. I'm not sure. I didn't edit this.) 

Don't worry. Forrest will be back next episode...... I think? 

Tweet at us. Email us. Support us on Patreon. Curse us into the next century. Whatever tickles your fancy.

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July 12, 2017  

I bet you were hoping we'd continue our actual campaign.... SUCKS FOR YOU, WE'RE STILL SIDE QUESTIN' BITCHES! At this rate we'll be totally lost when we do actually return to our campaign and you'll be yelling at us because we screw everything up. Which at this point is your fault. YOU KNEW WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR.

 

 

K. Bai.

 

P.S. Blame Forrest.

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July 1, 2017  

This is just a sid thing. Not part of anything. We talk, A LOT. You've been warned. Listen at your own risk.

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June 14, 2017  

SIIIDIEEEE QUUESTTTTT!!!

 

Forrest is livin' it up in Spain, so here we are. HAVING FUN WITHOUT HIM! Suckerrrr.

 

Any way. We do things. Ivana has a racist accent. Everyone else lets her so they're accomplices. 

 

 

@CodeDude3 just makes shit up as he goes along. @Eskimomo9 drinks her woes away. @AbsurdistKolbold secretly rocks out to Journey. @arcaneVice isn't paying attention whatsoever. 

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
 
 
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June 8, 2017  

We're still stuck with our super speacial guest star unfortunately amd trying to get through Cody's devious plan. Oh joy.....

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice gets drunk. @AbsurdistKobold has fabulous hair. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
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May 24, 2017  

Seriously, thanks for listening y'all!

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice yells nonsense. @AbsurdistKobold disapproves of such things. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
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May 17, 2017  

So these chucklefucks just hop onto a boat, all willy nilly, with some stranger! Then little Oompa Loompa dudes are a thing in this world. THEN weird stuff happens. What stuff you ask? WELL LISTEN TO THE EPISODE AND YOU'LL FIND OUT!

 

 

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice yells nonsense. @AbsurdistKobold disapproves of such things. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio

 

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May 5, 2017  

This ones... a bit late. Sorry about that Mustiledae! Life's been a bit... wait, deja vu? Well then... This week on the Dire Weasel podcast, there's doom and gloom for the party. Their newest friend got attacked, and soon enough, they were too! Hope the majority of you are doing well! Hugs and kisses for all! I'm a bit tired, and the crew is a bit combobulated, but we'll get back in the swing of things soon! - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O.

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio!

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April 24, 2017  

This ones... a bit late. Sorry about that Mustiledae! Life's been a bit disorganized as of late. However, things are looking up! Currently working on getting some things out to patreon people as well as others! And, I'm very excited as we close the gap to our 100th! Anyway, this time here in this cave that HAS NO ESCAPE, the team finds an escape route. Or so they think. They make a friends at least though. Right? Right. Maybe. Dammit.  - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O.

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio!

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April 14, 2017  

Look, I'm trying to get past all this. Is what a great little side quest thing, and like, big story and what not, but dang. DO YOU HAVE TO LET IT LINGER! DO YOU HAVE TO, DO YOU HAVE TO, DO YOU HAVE TO LET IT LINGER!!! Okay. Now that that's off my chest, the party is still fighting with the sisters, but it seems like things are going in their favor. Crystal Light still has some weird tingles underneath her skin and Tetsu and Sturella still have to deal with some pests. Oh, and that Cock-head is somewhere and is probably not important what-so-ever... - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O.

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio!

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April 5, 2017  

I don't do combat well. At least, in my own opinion. May need to change it up a bit. Anyway, this episode is full of combat and mysteries. I think I'm good at mysteries? It's weird. But last episode was weird too right? Who knows. I guess you do. The gang takes a more direct approach to solving their issues, at least continueing to. OH! I remember this episode. I liked the cliff hanger. Anyway, have fun with it! - C3 

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O.

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio!

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March 31, 2017  

Still more cave, but instead, now the party has dedicated to something. With all the craziness going on, something has to go down. This Cockhead knows something, these Drow are doing something malicious, and man, fuck this cave. Seriously. Well, at least I can tell you, we get into the action this week! Let's get to it! - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O.

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio!

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March 23, 2017  

We cannot get out of this damn cave! Oh well, Eveyne is about to, then everything is going to be fine! However, what's going? Drow? Ravin' Queen? Like, are these bad people, or just people trying to have a good gosh diddly darn time? Not sure, well, actually I am, but you know. things happen. There's also a lot of grinding and making that booty clap. I'm never sure what else to put here. Anyway, listen up! AND ROLL OUT! - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O. 

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio! 

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March 8, 2017  

Howdy all! Y'all? No, not doing that. This episode was... well, a bit of a mess despite me being completely prepared. In the aftermath of the small skirmish, Evynne was released from the room that has no anti magic field, I swear, in it and started searching through boxes. Real rude. Crystal Light and Sturella search a body, like good adventurers, but it's still pretty rude. Then Tetsu is muted and has some issues with their computer for a bit, which was rude on the computer's end and not due to the player. Also, what's this party boi's deal? I mean ALL OF THEM!? ALSO, WHAT IS GOING ON? Guess you'll have to listen and find out! - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O. 

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio! 

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March 2, 2017  

There was a lot of emails in this episode. It made me very happy, but we barely had time for the combat, but all in all, I don't really like combat all that much. In this episode Evynne talks with the 3 drow ladies in the VIP room, and the rest of the party start attacking the poor Party Boi's who did NOTHING WRONG! Also, what's with Dk'Jakker wanna be angel thing? Who keeps talking to Crystal Light? Look guys, I'M SUBTLE OKAY? Anyway, like at the top, stay after for more emails! Did I mention I love getting emails?

Also, check out Patreon for your rewards, coming out on March 3rd, this Friday! Hopefully that worked? IDK... - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O. 

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio! 

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February 23, 2017  

After a flop of a start, we decided to go on and do something different. Ivana had the idea of doing something like "Who's line is it anyway?", only dungeon style. Listen to us bumble our way through this episode without John, and through some amazing edits from Marc. Also, sorry about missing a week, things getting pretty hectic, especially with Forrest being all smart and what not. S-M-R-T

@DireWeasels : @Walk6070, @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice. Our editor is @0dius. Let him know how much better his edits sound than our usual stuff.

Rate us. Review us. If you want to support us, there's patreon.com/direweasels. The Shouse network exists for you to check out other podcasts made by people we like and are affiliated with. Also, you get more Cody in many of them. Thanks for listening.

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February 8, 2017  

The gang tries to get some action. 

 

 

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice yells nonsense. @AbsurdistKobold disapproves of such things. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio

 

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February 2, 2017  

The gang begins their travels and encounters some weirdos on the road. Ivana wasn't paying attention as usual and Forrest is whatever.

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice yells nonsense. @AbsurdistKobold disapproves of such things. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
Also we need to shut John up about Google Reviews, anyone figure that shit out yet?
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
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January 25, 2017  

A relatively fun shopping episode, you know, if that's your thing.

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice yells nonsense. @AbsurdistKobold disapproves of such things. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
Also we need to shut John up about Google Reviews, anyone figure that shit out yet?
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
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January 19, 2017  

 

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs

They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one, I'm the only one

Marc edited this. I did not listen to it beforehand because that would require a level of professionalism that I do not posses.

The voices you hear are not imagined, they're the collective cacophany of @DireWeasels 

@Codedude3 guides our shenanigans while @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @walk6070 and @arcanevice do said shenanigans. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
Also we need to shut John up about Google Reviews, anyone figure that shit out yet?
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
 
P.P.S. Our editor is @0dius. Let him know how much better his edits sound than our usual stuff.
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January 11, 2017  

Hopefully I haven't already done the no title title gag. Marc makes his debut editing performance, which means things probably end up sounding more professional than you all are accustomed to. Along with Cody's ambition as a dm, it is like we are an entirely new podcast. Sorry we missed releasing last week, we were hammering out the whole having a regular editor thing. We have 3 in the can now though, so things should go off without a hitch for the forseeable future. We are at this point still feeling out our new characters and what have you, but it's a good listen. In a few episodes, we might actually start questing!

@DireWeasels : @Walk6070, @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice. Our editor is @0dius. Let him know how much better his edits sound than our usual stuff.

Rate us. Review us. If you want to support us, there's patreon.com/direweasels. The Shouse network exists for you to check out other podcasts made by people we like and are affiliated with. Also, you get more Cody in many of them. Thanks for listening.

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December 28, 2016  

HEY! HEY! HEY!

We suffer at the hands of a new master now. Our path is being set before us, we are mere instruments clutched in the hands of a mad God. The glorious accountant *ahem* I mean Warlock has made her return to your ear holes. She attempts to wrangle a new group of adventurers. Also John enlightens Ivana on her discrimination against poor little kobolds. Racism is bad, mmkay?

 

The voices you hear are not imagined, they're the collective cacophany of @DireWeasels 

@Codedude3 guides our shenanigans while @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @walk6070 and @arcanevice do said shenanigans. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
Also we need to shut John up about Google Reviews, anyone figure that shit out yet?
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
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December 21, 2016  
Howdy all! Cody here. This is my little... umm, speech for my part of the Dire Weasels CU. Canonical Universe. I'm going to royally mess things up, but it's going to be fun at least! Hope you like this little primer for the next protion of Dire Weasels! BIG shout out to Battlebards.com for most of the audio, acutally, I think ALL of the audio in that. They make some great stuff, and I hope I can use some of it in my down time. Personally, I'm subscribed to them on Patreon and backed their Kickstarter way back in the day. Check them out! Not sponsored, just really love their work. Also, if you liked this, please feel free to hit me up! Already have had great feed back on it, and hopefully I can get a 2nd version up soon, not changing any details, just making sure it sounds the best I can make it! Thanks for listening!
 
We are, and totally will forever be @DireWeasels. Currently, though, we are, Forrest @walk6070, John @absurdistkobold, Ivana @arcanevice, Mollie @eskimomo9, and Cody @codedude3.
 
Have any questions or comments longer than a tweet? Email us at direweasels@gmail.com!
 
Keep Forrest smiling by going to iTunes or your repective podcasting application and rate and review us! If you do, let us know by emailing us, and if you want, we can give you an NPC on the podcast! If you like what we do, and want to help keep the mics on and running, go to patreon.com/direweasels to throw us some extra cash so we can pump up the volume!
 
If you like what WE do, why don't you go check out the other podcasts on the SHU Network, like @SHUpodcast, a superhero Fate based real play with several different canoncial games and audio dramas! Or, if you like WATCHING stuff, check out @DCWPodcast, where they discuss the DC comic based shows on the CW! It's like they combined the C's or something! OR, if you like READING stuff, check out @GLBBpodcast, where they talk about bad romance novels and good sex practices, or at least try and learn about good sex practices! Or, maybe you would like a more serious tone, check out @arklightpodcast a real play Mutant Year Zero game with some amazing people and that sweet drama and RP!

 

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December 14, 2016  

Spoiler alert. Audacity took the fight in the end. Mollie's track goes from very distorted to normal to the audience not being able to hear her while we all still respond to the things she says (she's like our Garfield for the last 20-25 minutes of the episode). We recorded for the first time after a long layoff, so a lot of this episode is shaking off the ring rust and being excited to chat with friends again. But something big happens. Also, just in case we haven't been great about spreading the word, when we record, we are looking atn 7:30-9 JST. Thanks for listening.

@DireWeasels : @Walk6070, @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice

Rate and review us whereever you feel is best. Forrest would love you if it were iTunes, but ultimately any exposure helps. Check out our sibling podcasts on the Shouse podcast studio. If you want to help us do what we do, there is always patreon.com/direweasels.

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December 4, 2016  

They say most stories come in three acts. Well, the good ones at least. I'm not so sure if this is "a good one" or not, but I enjoyed playing in it. I hope you enjoy listening to it. It's been a long time coming, and things about to come to an end. How will things end up? Will everyone escape with their lives? Will only some of us survive? Or will we be trapped in this hell house forever?

Sorry about the lateness of this latest episode, and the lack of care in this edit. Getting hectic around the offices here at Dire Weasels HQ. Thank you for your continued patience, and we have been making progress towards getting back to cannonical episodes. Here more from us soon!

On this episode of Arbitrary Adventures, we feature Alex Cater, from S House Studios @happypuke, Ben Cook, from Illogical Show, a Star Trek based show, both @thebendcook and @illogicalshow, John, our regular @absurdistKobold, Matt, from GeeklyInc Random Encounters, @punk1290, Travis, find his art and more, @ibplunderin, Jack, find him @Mr_Cynic and his emails he sends to us, and Cody, from stuff, @codedude3. Again, they have character names, but I'm too lazy. If you like what we do here, give us a review on your podcasting app! Maybe even go over to patreon,com/direweasels and throw some cash at us. Want to go ahead and contact us, email us at direweasels@gmail.com! Go ahead and find more podcasts in the S House Studio network, maybe check out @SHouseStudio first on twitter.

The music for the intro and outro respectively are “This House” and “Evening of Chaos” both by Kevin MacLeod from incompetech.com. These songs are Licensed under a Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License.

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