Dire Weasels: A real(ish) play 5e Dungeons and Dragons podcast Once described as if D&D and Cards Against Humanity had a baby. That seems fairly close.

December 13, 2017  

Okay, so we're officially on a boat. Ivana makes friends. Forrest figures out his life. John & Mollie do things... I think? Cody decides to be creepy.

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice gets drunk. @AbsurdistKobold has fabulous hair. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.
@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him.

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December 6, 2017  

Cody is still making us fight things. He's taking this pretty seriously. What the hell kind of DM is he?! Oh and Ivana STILL doesn't know how to play D & D. 

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice gets drunk. @AbsurdistKobold has fabulous hair. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.
@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him.

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October 18, 2017  

I bet you’re wondering why this episode is being posted later in day.... IT’S BECAUSE I ACTUALLY LISTENED TO IT! I didn’t fail you guys this week. Well I kind of did because I’m terrible at D & D even after playing it for 3 years straight.

 

Any way.... Ivana teaches the word of the Lefthander, quite literally. Forrest doesn’t remember shit (neither does Ivana), John pulls a John and just gets us into stupid combat and Mollie is too pure for this podcast. Cody somehow avoids a heart attack.

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice gets drunk. @AbsurdistKobold has fabulous hair. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.
@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him.

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October 11, 2017  

Hey guys, Zuko here.

 

Just kidding, it’s me. Your favorite weasel. Yeah, I know it’s me. I didn’t listen to this episode so I don’t know what happens BUT I’m listening to the next episode as I type this so the next episode will have a better description that may or may not spoil this episode. I won’t know if it spoils it because, again, I know fuck all of what happens in this episode.

 

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice gets drunk. @AbsurdistKobold has fabulous hair. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.
@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

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October 5, 2017  

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just want to tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

 

 

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice gets drunk. @AbsurdistKobold has fabulous hair. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.
@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

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September 13, 2017  

We all got together to record. I don't think any of us were late for once so then shit hit the fan. Everything went wrong and we lost Forrest and at the end of it we all just had to laugh about it. We recorded something... Basically we just talked. Check it out if you have nothing better to do.

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August 30, 2017  

It has been like DECADES since we recorded. We're a little rusty. Tetsu does some shit, Crystal Light kind of pays attention and the gang attempts to do a whatsmacalls it. Skill assesment or whatever. That actually happened first. I don't know, just listen to the episode. If you want. You don't have to. You're free to do whatever you'd like actually, except certain things. But that's really not us controlling you. That's the government. Don't blame us, we just drink and roll dice.

 

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice gets drunk. @AbsurdistKobold has fabulous hair. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
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August 23, 2017  

Hey guys, guess we're back on our bullshit! After all that has happened, the people we've met, people we've killed, it's finally time to get down to this quest! Why are people dissappearing from Palllet Town and nearby hamlets to the north? What else is going on up there? And what was with that side quest? Best keep listening...

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O. 

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio! 

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August 16, 2017  

Last and final episode of our little side quest adventure! Things get a bit creepy. We figure out what has happened to this small little town... maybe? 

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O.

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio!

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July 27, 2017  

Making my way downtown. 

 

Walking fast. Faces passed.

The adventure continues! (or ends. I'm not sure. I didn't edit this.) 

Don't worry. Forrest will be back next episode...... I think? 

Tweet at us. Email us. Support us on Patreon. Curse us into the next century. Whatever tickles your fancy.

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July 12, 2017  

I bet you were hoping we'd continue our actual campaign.... SUCKS FOR YOU, WE'RE STILL SIDE QUESTIN' BITCHES! At this rate we'll be totally lost when we do actually return to our campaign and you'll be yelling at us because we screw everything up. Which at this point is your fault. YOU KNEW WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR.

 

 

K. Bai.

 

P.S. Blame Forrest.

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July 1, 2017  

This is just a sid thing. Not part of anything. We talk, A LOT. You've been warned. Listen at your own risk.

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June 14, 2017  

SIIIDIEEEE QUUESTTTTT!!!

 

Forrest is livin' it up in Spain, so here we are. HAVING FUN WITHOUT HIM! Suckerrrr.

 

Any way. We do things. Ivana has a racist accent. Everyone else lets her so they're accomplices. 

 

 

@CodeDude3 just makes shit up as he goes along. @Eskimomo9 drinks her woes away. @AbsurdistKolbold secretly rocks out to Journey. @arcaneVice isn't paying attention whatsoever. 

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
 
 
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June 8, 2017  

We're still stuck with our super speacial guest star unfortunately amd trying to get through Cody's devious plan. Oh joy.....

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice gets drunk. @AbsurdistKobold has fabulous hair. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
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May 24, 2017  

Seriously, thanks for listening y'all!

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice yells nonsense. @AbsurdistKobold disapproves of such things. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
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May 17, 2017  

So these chucklefucks just hop onto a boat, all willy nilly, with some stranger! Then little Oompa Loompa dudes are a thing in this world. THEN weird stuff happens. What stuff you ask? WELL LISTEN TO THE EPISODE AND YOU'LL FIND OUT!

 

 

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice yells nonsense. @AbsurdistKobold disapproves of such things. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio

 

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May 5, 2017  

This ones... a bit late. Sorry about that Mustiledae! Life's been a bit... wait, deja vu? Well then... This week on the Dire Weasel podcast, there's doom and gloom for the party. Their newest friend got attacked, and soon enough, they were too! Hope the majority of you are doing well! Hugs and kisses for all! I'm a bit tired, and the crew is a bit combobulated, but we'll get back in the swing of things soon! - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O.

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio!

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April 24, 2017  

This ones... a bit late. Sorry about that Mustiledae! Life's been a bit disorganized as of late. However, things are looking up! Currently working on getting some things out to patreon people as well as others! And, I'm very excited as we close the gap to our 100th! Anyway, this time here in this cave that HAS NO ESCAPE, the team finds an escape route. Or so they think. They make a friends at least though. Right? Right. Maybe. Dammit.  - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O.

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio!

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April 14, 2017  

Look, I'm trying to get past all this. Is what a great little side quest thing, and like, big story and what not, but dang. DO YOU HAVE TO LET IT LINGER! DO YOU HAVE TO, DO YOU HAVE TO, DO YOU HAVE TO LET IT LINGER!!! Okay. Now that that's off my chest, the party is still fighting with the sisters, but it seems like things are going in their favor. Crystal Light still has some weird tingles underneath her skin and Tetsu and Sturella still have to deal with some pests. Oh, and that Cock-head is somewhere and is probably not important what-so-ever... - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O.

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio!

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April 5, 2017  

I don't do combat well. At least, in my own opinion. May need to change it up a bit. Anyway, this episode is full of combat and mysteries. I think I'm good at mysteries? It's weird. But last episode was weird too right? Who knows. I guess you do. The gang takes a more direct approach to solving their issues, at least continueing to. OH! I remember this episode. I liked the cliff hanger. Anyway, have fun with it! - C3 

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O.

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio!

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March 31, 2017  

Still more cave, but instead, now the party has dedicated to something. With all the craziness going on, something has to go down. This Cockhead knows something, these Drow are doing something malicious, and man, fuck this cave. Seriously. Well, at least I can tell you, we get into the action this week! Let's get to it! - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O.

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio!

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March 23, 2017  

We cannot get out of this damn cave! Oh well, Eveyne is about to, then everything is going to be fine! However, what's going? Drow? Ravin' Queen? Like, are these bad people, or just people trying to have a good gosh diddly darn time? Not sure, well, actually I am, but you know. things happen. There's also a lot of grinding and making that booty clap. I'm never sure what else to put here. Anyway, listen up! AND ROLL OUT! - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O. 

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio! 

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March 8, 2017  

Howdy all! Y'all? No, not doing that. This episode was... well, a bit of a mess despite me being completely prepared. In the aftermath of the small skirmish, Evynne was released from the room that has no anti magic field, I swear, in it and started searching through boxes. Real rude. Crystal Light and Sturella search a body, like good adventurers, but it's still pretty rude. Then Tetsu is muted and has some issues with their computer for a bit, which was rude on the computer's end and not due to the player. Also, what's this party boi's deal? I mean ALL OF THEM!? ALSO, WHAT IS GOING ON? Guess you'll have to listen and find out! - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O. 

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio! 

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March 2, 2017  

There was a lot of emails in this episode. It made me very happy, but we barely had time for the combat, but all in all, I don't really like combat all that much. In this episode Evynne talks with the 3 drow ladies in the VIP room, and the rest of the party start attacking the poor Party Boi's who did NOTHING WRONG! Also, what's with Dk'Jakker wanna be angel thing? Who keeps talking to Crystal Light? Look guys, I'M SUBTLE OKAY? Anyway, like at the top, stay after for more emails! Did I mention I love getting emails?

Also, check out Patreon for your rewards, coming out on March 3rd, this Friday! Hopefully that worked? IDK... - C3

Thank you for downloading the Dire Weasels! You can find us on twitter collective @DireWeasels, find our DM Cody @codedude3, Forrest Walker is @walk6070, Ivana Greenleaf is @arcanevice, John is @absurdistkobold, and Mollie is @eskimomo9. If you like what you heard after downloading, head on over to iTunes or your respective podcasting app and give us a rating and review! If you do, send us an email at direweasels@gmail.com and let us know where to find it so we can read it out on the show! Or if you just want to email us some questions, that would be cool too! If you want to support us monetarily, check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/direweasels! We have tiers where you can affect the world, get some snail mail from us, or just get some bonus content! You can also find our amazing editor, Marc @0dius, that's with a zero not an O. 

We are also part of the S. House Network, a group of podcasts that like to promote one another and work together to be better at what we do! Check them out @SHouseStudio and find some of their videos on youtube.com/SHouseStudio! 

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February 23, 2017  

After a flop of a start, we decided to go on and do something different. Ivana had the idea of doing something like "Who's line is it anyway?", only dungeon style. Listen to us bumble our way through this episode without John, and through some amazing edits from Marc. Also, sorry about missing a week, things getting pretty hectic, especially with Forrest being all smart and what not. S-M-R-T

@DireWeasels : @Walk6070, @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice. Our editor is @0dius. Let him know how much better his edits sound than our usual stuff.

Rate us. Review us. If you want to support us, there's patreon.com/direweasels. The Shouse network exists for you to check out other podcasts made by people we like and are affiliated with. Also, you get more Cody in many of them. Thanks for listening.

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