Dire Weasels: A real(ish) play 5e Dungeons and Dragons podcast Once described as if D&D and Cards Against Humanity had a baby. That seems fairly close.

February 8, 2017  

The gang tries to get some action. 

 

 

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice yells nonsense. @AbsurdistKobold disapproves of such things. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio

 

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February 2, 2017  

The gang begins their travels and encounters some weirdos on the road. Ivana wasn't paying attention as usual and Forrest is whatever.

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice yells nonsense. @AbsurdistKobold disapproves of such things. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
Also we need to shut John up about Google Reviews, anyone figure that shit out yet?
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
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January 25, 2017  

A relatively fun shopping episode, you know, if that's your thing.

 

@CodeDude3 is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. @arcaneVice yells nonsense. @AbsurdistKobold disapproves of such things. @Eskimomo9 silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. @Walk6070 jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
Also we need to shut John up about Google Reviews, anyone figure that shit out yet?
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
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January 19, 2017  

 

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs

They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I'm the only one, I'm the only one

Marc edited this. I did not listen to it beforehand because that would require a level of professionalism that I do not posses.

The voices you hear are not imagined, they're the collective cacophany of @DireWeasels 

@Codedude3 guides our shenanigans while @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @walk6070 and @arcanevice do said shenanigans. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
Also we need to shut John up about Google Reviews, anyone figure that shit out yet?
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
 
P.P.S. Our editor is @0dius. Let him know how much better his edits sound than our usual stuff.
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January 11, 2017  

Hopefully I haven't already done the no title title gag. Marc makes his debut editing performance, which means things probably end up sounding more professional than you all are accustomed to. Along with Cody's ambition as a dm, it is like we are an entirely new podcast. Sorry we missed releasing last week, we were hammering out the whole having a regular editor thing. We have 3 in the can now though, so things should go off without a hitch for the forseeable future. We are at this point still feeling out our new characters and what have you, but it's a good listen. In a few episodes, we might actually start questing!

@DireWeasels : @Walk6070, @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice. Our editor is @0dius. Let him know how much better his edits sound than our usual stuff.

Rate us. Review us. If you want to support us, there's patreon.com/direweasels. The Shouse network exists for you to check out other podcasts made by people we like and are affiliated with. Also, you get more Cody in many of them. Thanks for listening.

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December 28, 2016  

HEY! HEY! HEY!

We suffer at the hands of a new master now. Our path is being set before us, we are mere instruments clutched in the hands of a mad God. The glorious accountant *ahem* I mean Warlock has made her return to your ear holes. She attempts to wrangle a new group of adventurers. Also John enlightens Ivana on her discrimination against poor little kobolds. Racism is bad, mmkay?

 

The voices you hear are not imagined, they're the collective cacophany of @DireWeasels 

@Codedude3 guides our shenanigans while @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @walk6070 and @arcanevice do said shenanigans. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
Also we need to shut John up about Google Reviews, anyone figure that shit out yet?
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
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December 21, 2016  
Howdy all! Cody here. This is my little... umm, speech for my part of the Dire Weasels CU. Canonical Universe. I'm going to royally mess things up, but it's going to be fun at least! Hope you like this little primer for the next protion of Dire Weasels! BIG shout out to Battlebards.com for most of the audio, acutally, I think ALL of the audio in that. They make some great stuff, and I hope I can use some of it in my down time. Personally, I'm subscribed to them on Patreon and backed their Kickstarter way back in the day. Check them out! Not sponsored, just really love their work. Also, if you liked this, please feel free to hit me up! Already have had great feed back on it, and hopefully I can get a 2nd version up soon, not changing any details, just making sure it sounds the best I can make it! Thanks for listening!
 
We are, and totally will forever be @DireWeasels. Currently, though, we are, Forrest @walk6070, John @absurdistkobold, Ivana @arcanevice, Mollie @eskimomo9, and Cody @codedude3.
 
Have any questions or comments longer than a tweet? Email us at direweasels@gmail.com!
 
Keep Forrest smiling by going to iTunes or your repective podcasting application and rate and review us! If you do, let us know by emailing us, and if you want, we can give you an NPC on the podcast! If you like what we do, and want to help keep the mics on and running, go to patreon.com/direweasels to throw us some extra cash so we can pump up the volume!
 
If you like what WE do, why don't you go check out the other podcasts on the SHU Network, like @SHUpodcast, a superhero Fate based real play with several different canoncial games and audio dramas! Or, if you like WATCHING stuff, check out @DCWPodcast, where they discuss the DC comic based shows on the CW! It's like they combined the C's or something! OR, if you like READING stuff, check out @GLBBpodcast, where they talk about bad romance novels and good sex practices, or at least try and learn about good sex practices! Or, maybe you would like a more serious tone, check out @arklightpodcast a real play Mutant Year Zero game with some amazing people and that sweet drama and RP!

 

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December 14, 2016  

Spoiler alert. Audacity took the fight in the end. Mollie's track goes from very distorted to normal to the audience not being able to hear her while we all still respond to the things she says (she's like our Garfield for the last 20-25 minutes of the episode). We recorded for the first time after a long layoff, so a lot of this episode is shaking off the ring rust and being excited to chat with friends again. But something big happens. Also, just in case we haven't been great about spreading the word, when we record, we are looking atn 7:30-9 JST. Thanks for listening.

@DireWeasels : @Walk6070, @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice

Rate and review us whereever you feel is best. Forrest would love you if it were iTunes, but ultimately any exposure helps. Check out our sibling podcasts on the Shouse podcast studio. If you want to help us do what we do, there is always patreon.com/direweasels.

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December 4, 2016  

They say most stories come in three acts. Well, the good ones at least. I'm not so sure if this is "a good one" or not, but I enjoyed playing in it. I hope you enjoy listening to it. It's been a long time coming, and things about to come to an end. How will things end up? Will everyone escape with their lives? Will only some of us survive? Or will we be trapped in this hell house forever?

Sorry about the lateness of this latest episode, and the lack of care in this edit. Getting hectic around the offices here at Dire Weasels HQ. Thank you for your continued patience, and we have been making progress towards getting back to cannonical episodes. Here more from us soon!

On this episode of Arbitrary Adventures, we feature Alex Cater, from S House Studios @happypuke, Ben Cook, from Illogical Show, a Star Trek based show, both @thebendcook and @illogicalshow, John, our regular @absurdistKobold, Matt, from GeeklyInc Random Encounters, @punk1290, Travis, find his art and more, @ibplunderin, Jack, find him @Mr_Cynic and his emails he sends to us, and Cody, from stuff, @codedude3. Again, they have character names, but I'm too lazy. If you like what we do here, give us a review on your podcasting app! Maybe even go over to patreon,com/direweasels and throw some cash at us. Want to go ahead and contact us, email us at direweasels@gmail.com! Go ahead and find more podcasts in the S House Studio network, maybe check out @SHouseStudio first on twitter.

The music for the intro and outro respectively are “This House” and “Evening of Chaos” both by Kevin MacLeod from incompetech.com. These songs are Licensed under a Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License.

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November 20, 2016  

You heard our story begin. Interested to hear more? It's time to explore the house more, delving deep into it's depths. What will the house uncover? What's so terrible about this house that one would, disembowl themselves? One creepy house, alcohol, triangles of love. What could go wrong? Let Alex guide us through one night of horror.

Sorry about the lateness of this latest episode, and the lack of care in this edit. Getting hectic around the offices here at Dire Weasels HQ. Thank you for your continued patience, and we have been making progress towards getting back to cannonical episodes. Here more from us soon!

On this episode of Arbitrary Adventures, we feature Alex Cater, from S House Studios @happypuke, Ben Cook, from Illogical Show, a Star Trek based show, both @thebendcook and @illogicalshow, John, our regular @absurdistKobold, Matt, from GeeklyInc Random Encounters, @punk1290, Travis, find his art and more, @ibplunderin, Jack, find him @Mr_Cynic and his emails he sends to us, and Cody, from stuff, @codedude3. Again, they have character names, but I'm too lazy. If you like what we do here, give us a review on your podcasting app! Maybe even go over to patreon,com/direweasels and throw some cash at us. Want to go ahead and contact us, email us at direweasels@gmail.com! Go ahead and find more podcasts in the S House Studio network, maybe check out @SHouseStudio first on twitter.

The music for the intro and outro respectively are “This House” and “Evening of Chaos” both by Kevin MacLeod from incompetech.com. These songs are Licensed under a Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License.

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November 3, 2016  

The wind begins to howl. The old dead trees outside start to tap on the dusty windows of this old mansion. Someone asks, "Why are we here?". Another replies... FOR CONTENT! Another Arbitrary Adventure for you all! Our friend from S House Studio, Alex Cater, wanted to play a spooky game for Halloween and couldn't find enough players. Here at Dire Weasels thought that was a travesty so we FIXED IT AND MADE CONTENT! We hope you enjoy, because it's like rain on your wedding day, it's like a free ride, to a roller-coaster to hell.

On this episode of Arbitrary Adventures, we feature Alex Cater, from S House Studios @happypuke, Ben Cook, from Illogical Show, a Star Trek based show, both @thebendcook and @illogicalshow, John, our regular @absurdistKobold, Matt, from GeeklyInc Random Encounters, @punk1290, Travis, find his art and more, @ibplunderin, Jack, find him @Mr_Cynic and his emails he sends to us, and Cody, from stuff, @codedude3. Again, they have character names, but I'm too lazy. If you like what we do here, give us a review on your podcasting app! Maybe even go over to patreon,com/direweasels and throw some cash at us. Want to go ahead and contact us, email us at direweasels@gmail.com! Go ahead and find more podcasts in the S House Studio network, maybe check out @SHouseStudio first on twitter.

The music for the intro and outro respectively are “This House” and “Evening of Chaos” both by Kevin MacLeod from incompetech.com. These songs are Licensed under a Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License.

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October 27, 2016  

Things have been pretty hectic recently. So, the gang has decided to go on a bit of a canonical hiatus. Instead of the regular showing today, we bring you... uhhh... this...

In the beginning, there was random. Then random things happened in the random and then exploded... randomly. Then, Bapperson made a random character creator based on the Wizards random character creator. Thus, THE RANDOM GROUP WAS BORN!

After randomly being placed in a random tavern, and randomly talking to a random group of bards called the Pixies, the group ventures off into the woods to find what random adventures they get up to today!!!

Today's episode was GM'd by Cody Boker, @codedude3, and our players were, John Venrick, @AbsurdistKobold, Gwynn Walker, @GwynnAndTonic, Lorelai, @lothlorien_elf, and Sean, @Wolfven1. To be honest, they had character names too, but I'm too lazy to go back and find them. Thanks to all of you that support us on Patreon! And for those who want to support us like they have, go to patreon.com/direweasels and donate what you can each month. Also, check out the other podcasts on the S. House Studio network, and find them @SHouseStudio! If you want to get in contact with us, hit us up at direweasels@gmail.com with your questions, answers and maybe suggestions to what games you would like us to play and maybe a guest spot on the show for an Arbitrary Adventure! Thanks so much for listening!

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October 12, 2016  

So they're in the tower. And they meet some weird dude. And then my baby started yelling at me. This guy was an awful cook so we tried fighting him. Then the baby started yelling at me again. Mike carries the group. As usual. Even though the baby kept yelling. We do stay surprisingly on track, probably because I was muted most of the time. ENJOY!

But seriously, I apologize. I'm still trying to get the hang of this mommy & me podcasting thing we've got going. 

 

The voices you hear are not imagined, they're the collective cacophany of @DireWeasels 

@Walk6070 guides our shenanigans while @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice do said shenanigans. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
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October 5, 2016  
We meet some sphinxes in the tower, and one of them was digging herself some Grimgar. There are also bees and potions. The John tangents went over less well than usual, but they were still relatively abundant. Also, Gwynn was killing it in chat. Ultimately, it boils down to the Dire Weasels vs. a heavy door. Who will win this epic battle? Listen and find out.

@DireWeasels : @Walk6070, @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice

Rate and review us at itunes. Also, if you figure out how to rate and review us on google music, feel free to let me (@absurdistkobold) know so that I might be able to do that thing myself. Check out our Patreon (patreon.com/direweasels), which to be fair, might be in need of a little bit of a refresh. Check out our sibling podcasts at the glorious house of S (@shousestudio). Email us at direweasels@gmail.com. Those are the things. Thanks for listening.

I am copying my end thing from last time, because I am very much interested in the whole rating and reviewing on Google thing.

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September 29, 2016  
We finally enter what ever this... "Tower" thing is supposed to be. Something, however, seems off. Something mysterious is happening here, but I don't think the characters realize it yet. Nor do the players even... Don't be alone, because madness ensues in this very tight, very limp episode of the Dire Weasels podcast! I penetrate the darkness...

We are, and totally will forever be @Direweasels. Currently we are Forrest @walk6070 as your DM, John @absurdistkobold as DoaKnucks, Ivana @arcanevice as Mike, Mollie @eskimomo9 as Sierra Mist and Cody @codedude3 as Grimgar.

Got any questions or comments that you want us to read on the show? Email us at direweasels@gmail.com.

 

Keep Forrest smiling by going on iTunes or your respective podcasting application to rate and review us! If you like use enough to keep the lights on (I'm not sure WHERE these lights are but they keep us going) go and check out patreon.com/direweasels to drop us some cold hard cash to burn in that fire and keep producing content!

Also, if you like what WE do, check out the other podcasts in the Glorious House of S network @SHouseStudio! Those who synergism together get electrocuted together!

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September 22, 2016  

We do things. And stuff. We kinda sorta get things done. Also, Ivana is a dove. 

The voices you hear are not imagined, they're the collective cacophany of @DireWeasels 

@Walk6070 guides our shenanigans while @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice do said shenanigans. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
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September 14, 2016  

More SUPER HEROES?!? Well, kind of. It's the BLOOPISODE! While editing, took out some of the best tangents to make the original edit sounds smoother. Hope it worked! Now, you get the trash, the filth, the vile underbelly of the cutting room floor. I hope you are HAPPY with yourselves. I would warn you however, these episode is not to be taken lightly.

ALSO! Sorry about our regular release schedule, things have been going topsy turvy, and we are just trying to get back on track. Send some good vibes Ivana's(@arcanevice) and John's(@absurdistKobold) way if you would please! ... Does anyone read these? Anyway...

Send us email at direweasels@gmail.com, rate and review on iTunes (and google, let me review a damn podcast), and check out patreon.com/direweasels.

 

If you like what WE do, check out the other podcasts in the Glorious House of S network @SHouseStudio.

 

Joining us for this fiasco is Bailee as Ms. Print, @Ir0icanventure, and Jonny as Brimstone Kid, @solventbubbles. Your regular cast is John as Sticky Fingers, @absurdistkobold, Forrest as Ronald Raygun, @walk6070, and Cody as Tik Tok, @codedude3

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September 2, 2016  
Now we know you be loving this shit right here.

@DireWeasels : @Walk6070, @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice

Rate and review us at itunes. Also, if you figure out how to rate and review us on google music, feel free to let me (@absurdistkobold) know so that I might be able to do that thing myself. Check out our Patreon (patreon.com/direweasels), which to be fair, might be in need of a little bit of a refresh. Check out our sibling podcasts at the glorious house of S (@shousestudio). Email us at direweasels@gmail.com. Those are the things. Thanks for listening.

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August 27, 2016  

This is our finale of our Super Hero Fiasco... FIASCO! Things start heating up! I'm hoping my editing skills this time around are better! What will happen to Ronald Raygun and his plans? Will Brimstone Kid be trapped in the hell dimension at some point? Will Jonny sing ANOTHER song?!? Listen to this latest episode to find out!

Send us email at direweasels@gmail.com, rate and review on iTunes (and google, let me review a damn podcast), and check out patreon.com/direweasels.

 

If you like what WE do, check out the other podcasts in the Glorious House of S network @SHouseStudio.
 

Joining us for this fiasco is Bailee as Ms. Print, @Ir0icanventure, and Jonny as Brimstone Kid, @solventbubbles. Your regular cast is John as Sticky Fingers, @absurdistkobold, Forrest as Ronald Raygun, @walk6070, and Cody as Tik Tok, @codedude3.

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August 18, 2016  

With chaos currently griping the crew of the Dire Weasels, we turn to some of our audience to help give you some content! This time, after a fateful dice roll and some decision non-making, we decided to play Fiasco, and in the shadow of SHU, we decide to play Super heroes! I mean, sort of? You'll see.

I decided to take some liberties with this episode. I've added in somethings that I hope more help than harm the episode as a whole. If you liked what you heard, let us know! This is only a part one, which means your input may decide on what we do with part 2! I've taken out some of the banter, but don't worry, it's all in a blooper reel I've been creating. Now, on to actual business...

Send us email at direweasels@gmail.com, rate and review on iTunes (and google, let me review a damn podcast), and check out patreon.com/direweasels.

 

If you like what WE do, check out the other podcasts in the Glorious House of S network @SHouseStudio.

Joining us for this fiasco is Bailee as Ms. Print, @Ir0icanventure, and Jonny as Brimstone Kid, @solventbubbles. Your regular cast is John as Sticky Fingers, @absurdistkobold, Forrest as Ronald Raygun, @walk6070, and Cody as Tik Tok, @codedude3.

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August 11, 2016  

Soo like my mom always yelled at me to not procrastinate because "You never know when an emergency will happen and you won't be able to finish your project on time" and I was always like "yeah, whatever mom. I got an A on my paper. BOOM!" and then I had to edit this episode...So I kinda sorta half way edited it like two weeks ago and then I was just feeling out of it. So I figured I'd finish up and post it on Thursday instead of Wednesday...Low and behold my water breaks and I'm on the way to the hospital.

Moral of the story, don't procrastinate. You never know when your water will break. Then you'll be stuck trying to finish up an edit two weeks late with a kid on your boob and not enough sleep. So basically I'm sorry I suck at doing normal grown up things and you wonderful Listeners had to wait for this magical episode where Cody is our Game Master and rustles us through some creepy community college campus whilst playing Pokemon Go. In the future. Forrest was missing for this one. Probably playing Pokemon Go in real life because he's much cooler than us.
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August 3, 2016  

There were some timing issues (one of which I created) that I attempted to get fixed up, so hopefully that all sounds alright. There are also a couple of instances where a guest's audio sounds a bit roboty, but I wasn't sure how to get that fixed up. I could have made a personal fortune by demanding to get paid per throat clearing sound removed. I am not entirely sure how to describe the proceedings, but Cody ran the game (I think it would be safe to say his games have a particular feel to them, which is related to the tentative relationship the world seems to have with what the pcs perceive as reality). There were also lots of giggles and instances of John vs. chat trolls. It was a bad day for chat trolls (help us combat/outnumber them by watching live at twitch.tv/direweasels). Also, congratulations to Ivana and Fred on the birth of their new son. The release schedule might start looking weird (or technically already has gotten a bit strange, as Ivana went into labor while editing the last Arbitrary Adventure, so they are not coming out chronologically). 

Send us email at direweasels@gmail.com, rate and review on itunes (and google, let me review a damn podcast), and check out patreon.com/direweasels.

 

If you like what WE do, check out the other podcasts in the Glorious House of S network @SHouseStudio.

This week's cast included; @absurdistkobold, @codedude3, @ibplunderin, @thebendcook, and @lothlorien_elf.
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July 20, 2016  
Between kittens and killers, we try to figure out, as a party, what we are going to do next! That's actually about it? We talk, some of us change personalities, and use the restroom? It's weird. We all tried to pay attention real hard, but we think we know what we are doing? Something about purple lights and something coming from the south. What could that be? Do you think that cat Mike threw was the Goblin lady thing? Who knows! Maybe figure it out with this episode? I mean. I guess...

We are, and totally will forever be @Direweasels. Currently we are Forrest @walk6070 as your DM, John @absurdistkobold as DueNauks, Ivana @arcanevice as Mike, Mollie @eskimomo9 as Sierra Mist and Cody @codedude3 as Grimgar.

Got any questions or comments that you want us to read on the show? Email us at direweasels@gmail.com.

Keep Forrest smiling by going on iTunes or your respective podcasting application to rate and review us! If you like use enough to keep the lights on (I'm not sure WHERE these lights are but they keep us going) go and check out patreon.com/direweasels to drop us some cold hard cash to burn in that fire and keep producing content!

Also, if you like what WE do, check out the other podcasts in the Glorious House of S network @SHouseStudio! Those who synergism together get electrocuted together!

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July 13, 2016  

We had some technecical difficulties, so the audio is uneven in this episode, but there's still amusement to be found here. We meet another goblin, so a good chunk of the podcast has 3 people using essentially the same voice. Some shit with cats goes down, and Forrest wanted me to put a bunch of puns in the title, but fuck that shit. 

 

@DireWeasels : @Walk6070, @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice

Rate and review us at itunes. Also, if you figure out how to rate and review us on google music, feel free to let me (@absurdistkobold) know so that I might be able to do that thing myself. Check out our Patreon (patreon.com/direweasels), which to be fair, might be in need of a little bit of a refresh. Check out our sibling podcasts at the glorious house of S (@shousestudio). Email us at direweasels@gmail.com. I think that's what I have for now. Thanks for listening.

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July 7, 2016  

So the gang begins their casual trek upon The Big Road and encounters an encounter that should have been encountered for only 5 minutes. They manage to stretch it into one full episode of bull shit, unsurprisingly. Ivana is on a roll with comedic GOLD, Cody is slowly becoming a robot and John realizes he must have done something horrible in his previous life to deserve our company. ((Me thinks he was previously Hitler.)) So join us on our road to Perdition and grab a couple brewskies to help ease the pain. 

 

The voices you hear are not imagined, they're the collective cacophany of @DireWeasels 

@Walk6070 guides our shenanigans while @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice do said shenanigans. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
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