Dire Weasels: A real(ish) play 5e Dungeons and Dragons podcast Once described as if D&D and Cards Against Humanity had a baby. That seems fairly close.

June 14, 2017  

SIIIDIEEEE QUUESTTTTT!!!

 

Forrest is livin' it up in Spain, so here we are. HAVING FUN WITHOUT HIM! Suckerrrr.

 

Any way. We do things. Ivana has a racist accent. Everyone else lets her so they're accomplices. 

 

 

@CodeDude3 just makes shit up as he goes along. @Eskimomo9 drinks her woes away. @AbsurdistKolbold secretly rocks out to Journey. @arcaneVice isn't paying attention whatsoever. 

 

@0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him. 

 

Tell us how much you love us: direweasels@gmail.com and stop being stingy with your stars and load us up with 5 on iTunes.
 
 
P.S. We are a part of The Glorious House of S. Go remind them how much you love your hairy weasels @ShouseStudio
 
 
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February 23, 2017  

After a flop of a start, we decided to go on and do something different. Ivana had the idea of doing something like "Who's line is it anyway?", only dungeon style. Listen to us bumble our way through this episode without John, and through some amazing edits from Marc. Also, sorry about missing a week, things getting pretty hectic, especially with Forrest being all smart and what not. S-M-R-T

@DireWeasels : @Walk6070, @AbsurdistKobold, @eskimomo9, @codedude3 and @arcanevice. Our editor is @0dius. Let him know how much better his edits sound than our usual stuff.

Rate us. Review us. If you want to support us, there's patreon.com/direweasels. The Shouse network exists for you to check out other podcasts made by people we like and are affiliated with. Also, you get more Cody in many of them. Thanks for listening.

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December 4, 2016  

They say most stories come in three acts. Well, the good ones at least. I'm not so sure if this is "a good one" or not, but I enjoyed playing in it. I hope you enjoy listening to it. It's been a long time coming, and things about to come to an end. How will things end up? Will everyone escape with their lives? Will only some of us survive? Or will we be trapped in this hell house forever?

Sorry about the lateness of this latest episode, and the lack of care in this edit. Getting hectic around the offices here at Dire Weasels HQ. Thank you for your continued patience, and we have been making progress towards getting back to cannonical episodes. Here more from us soon!

On this episode of Arbitrary Adventures, we feature Alex Cater, from S House Studios @happypuke, Ben Cook, from Illogical Show, a Star Trek based show, both @thebendcook and @illogicalshow, John, our regular @absurdistKobold, Matt, from GeeklyInc Random Encounters, @punk1290, Travis, find his art and more, @ibplunderin, Jack, find him @Mr_Cynic and his emails he sends to us, and Cody, from stuff, @codedude3. Again, they have character names, but I'm too lazy. If you like what we do here, give us a review on your podcasting app! Maybe even go over to patreon,com/direweasels and throw some cash at us. Want to go ahead and contact us, email us at direweasels@gmail.com! Go ahead and find more podcasts in the S House Studio network, maybe check out @SHouseStudio first on twitter.

The music for the intro and outro respectively are “This House” and “Evening of Chaos” both by Kevin MacLeod from incompetech.com. These songs are Licensed under a Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License.

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November 20, 2016  

You heard our story begin. Interested to hear more? It's time to explore the house more, delving deep into it's depths. What will the house uncover? What's so terrible about this house that one would, disembowl themselves? One creepy house, alcohol, triangles of love. What could go wrong? Let Alex guide us through one night of horror.

Sorry about the lateness of this latest episode, and the lack of care in this edit. Getting hectic around the offices here at Dire Weasels HQ. Thank you for your continued patience, and we have been making progress towards getting back to cannonical episodes. Here more from us soon!

On this episode of Arbitrary Adventures, we feature Alex Cater, from S House Studios @happypuke, Ben Cook, from Illogical Show, a Star Trek based show, both @thebendcook and @illogicalshow, John, our regular @absurdistKobold, Matt, from GeeklyInc Random Encounters, @punk1290, Travis, find his art and more, @ibplunderin, Jack, find him @Mr_Cynic and his emails he sends to us, and Cody, from stuff, @codedude3. Again, they have character names, but I'm too lazy. If you like what we do here, give us a review on your podcasting app! Maybe even go over to patreon,com/direweasels and throw some cash at us. Want to go ahead and contact us, email us at direweasels@gmail.com! Go ahead and find more podcasts in the S House Studio network, maybe check out @SHouseStudio first on twitter.

The music for the intro and outro respectively are “This House” and “Evening of Chaos” both by Kevin MacLeod from incompetech.com. These songs are Licensed under a Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License.

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November 3, 2016  

The wind begins to howl. The old dead trees outside start to tap on the dusty windows of this old mansion. Someone asks, "Why are we here?". Another replies... FOR CONTENT! Another Arbitrary Adventure for you all! Our friend from S House Studio, Alex Cater, wanted to play a spooky game for Halloween and couldn't find enough players. Here at Dire Weasels thought that was a travesty so we FIXED IT AND MADE CONTENT! We hope you enjoy, because it's like rain on your wedding day, it's like a free ride, to a roller-coaster to hell.

On this episode of Arbitrary Adventures, we feature Alex Cater, from S House Studios @happypuke, Ben Cook, from Illogical Show, a Star Trek based show, both @thebendcook and @illogicalshow, John, our regular @absurdistKobold, Matt, from GeeklyInc Random Encounters, @punk1290, Travis, find his art and more, @ibplunderin, Jack, find him @Mr_Cynic and his emails he sends to us, and Cody, from stuff, @codedude3. Again, they have character names, but I'm too lazy. If you like what we do here, give us a review on your podcasting app! Maybe even go over to patreon,com/direweasels and throw some cash at us. Want to go ahead and contact us, email us at direweasels@gmail.com! Go ahead and find more podcasts in the S House Studio network, maybe check out @SHouseStudio first on twitter.

The music for the intro and outro respectively are “This House” and “Evening of Chaos” both by Kevin MacLeod from incompetech.com. These songs are Licensed under a Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License.

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October 27, 2016  

Things have been pretty hectic recently. So, the gang has decided to go on a bit of a canonical hiatus. Instead of the regular showing today, we bring you... uhhh... this...

In the beginning, there was random. Then random things happened in the random and then exploded... randomly. Then, Bapperson made a random character creator based on the Wizards random character creator. Thus, THE RANDOM GROUP WAS BORN!

After randomly being placed in a random tavern, and randomly talking to a random group of bards called the Pixies, the group ventures off into the woods to find what random adventures they get up to today!!!

Today's episode was GM'd by Cody Boker, @codedude3, and our players were, John Venrick, @AbsurdistKobold, Gwynn Walker, @GwynnAndTonic, Lorelai, @lothlorien_elf, and Sean, @Wolfven1. To be honest, they had character names too, but I'm too lazy to go back and find them. Thanks to all of you that support us on Patreon! And for those who want to support us like they have, go to patreon.com/direweasels and donate what you can each month. Also, check out the other podcasts on the S. House Studio network, and find them @SHouseStudio! If you want to get in contact with us, hit us up at direweasels@gmail.com with your questions, answers and maybe suggestions to what games you would like us to play and maybe a guest spot on the show for an Arbitrary Adventure! Thanks so much for listening!

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September 14, 2016  

More SUPER HEROES?!? Well, kind of. It's the BLOOPISODE! While editing, took out some of the best tangents to make the original edit sounds smoother. Hope it worked! Now, you get the trash, the filth, the vile underbelly of the cutting room floor. I hope you are HAPPY with yourselves. I would warn you however, these episode is not to be taken lightly.

ALSO! Sorry about our regular release schedule, things have been going topsy turvy, and we are just trying to get back on track. Send some good vibes Ivana's(@arcanevice) and John's(@absurdistKobold) way if you would please! ... Does anyone read these? Anyway...

Send us email at direweasels@gmail.com, rate and review on iTunes (and google, let me review a damn podcast), and check out patreon.com/direweasels.

If you like what WE do, check out the other podcasts in the Glorious House of S network @SHouseStudio.

Joining us for this fiasco is Bailee as Ms. Print, @Ir0icanventure, and Jonny as Brimstone Kid, @solventbubbles. Your regular cast is John as Sticky Fingers, @absurdistkobold, Forrest as Ronald Raygun, @walk6070, and Cody as Tik Tok, @codedude3

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August 27, 2016  

This is our finale of our Super Hero Fiasco... FIASCO! Things start heating up! I'm hoping my editing skills this time around are better! What will happen to Ronald Raygun and his plans? Will Brimstone Kid be trapped in the hell dimension at some point? Will Jonny sing ANOTHER song?!? Listen to this latest episode to find out!

Send us email at direweasels@gmail.com, rate and review on iTunes (and google, let me review a damn podcast), and check out patreon.com/direweasels.

If you like what WE do, check out the other podcasts in the Glorious House of S network @SHouseStudio.

Joining us for this fiasco is Bailee as Ms. Print, @Ir0icanventure, and Jonny as Brimstone Kid, @solventbubbles. Your regular cast is John as Sticky Fingers, @absurdistkobold, Forrest as Ronald Raygun, @walk6070, and Cody as Tik Tok, @codedude3.

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August 18, 2016  

With chaos currently griping the crew of the Dire Weasels, we turn to some of our audience to help give you some content! This time, after a fateful dice roll and some decision non-making, we decided to play Fiasco, and in the shadow of SHU, we decide to play Super heroes! I mean, sort of? You'll see.

I decided to take some liberties with this episode. I've added in somethings that I hope more help than harm the episode as a whole. If you liked what you heard, let us know! This is only a part one, which means your input may decide on what we do with part 2! I've taken out some of the banter, but don't worry, it's all in a blooper reel I've been creating. Now, on to actual business...

Send us email at direweasels@gmail.com, rate and review on iTunes (and google, let me review a damn podcast), and check out patreon.com/direweasels.

If you like what WE do, check out the other podcasts in the Glorious House of S network @SHouseStudio.

Joining us for this fiasco is Bailee as Ms. Print, @Ir0icanventure, and Jonny as Brimstone Kid, @solventbubbles. Your regular cast is John as Sticky Fingers, @absurdistkobold, Forrest as Ronald Raygun, @walk6070, and Cody as Tik Tok, @codedude3.

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August 11, 2016  

Soo like my mom always yelled at me to not procrastinate because "You never know when an emergency will happen and you won't be able to finish your project on time" and I was always like "yeah, whatever mom. I got an A on my paper. BOOM!" and then I had to edit this episode...So I kinda sorta half way edited it like two weeks ago and then I was just feeling out of it. So I figured I'd finish up and post it on Thursday instead of Wednesday...Low and behold my water breaks and I'm on the way to the hospital.

Moral of the story, don't procrastinate. You never know when your water will break. Then you'll be stuck trying to finish up an edit two weeks late with a kid on your boob and not enough sleep. So basically I'm sorry I suck at doing normal grown up things and you wonderful Listeners had to wait for this magical episode where Cody is our Game Master and rustles us through some creepy community college campus whilst playing Pokemon Go. In the future. Forrest was missing for this one. Probably playing Pokemon Go in real life because he's much cooler than us.
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August 3, 2016  

There were some timing issues (one of which I created) that I attempted to get fixed up, so hopefully that all sounds alright. There are also a couple of instances where a guest's audio sounds a bit roboty, but I wasn't sure how to get that fixed up. I could have made a personal fortune by demanding to get paid per throat clearing sound removed. I am not entirely sure how to describe the proceedings, but Cody ran the game (I think it would be safe to say his games have a particular feel to them, which is related to the tentative relationship the world seems to have with what the pcs perceive as reality). There were also lots of giggles and instances of John vs. chat trolls. It was a bad day for chat trolls (help us combat/outnumber them by watching live at twitch.tv/direweasels). Also, congratulations to Ivana and Fred on the birth of their new son. The release schedule might start looking weird (or technically already has gotten a bit strange, as Ivana went into labor while editing the last Arbitrary Adventure, so they are not coming out chronologically). 

Send us email at direweasels@gmail.com, rate and review on itunes (and google, let me review a damn podcast), and check out patreon.com/direweasels.

If you like what WE do, check out the other podcasts in the Glorious House of S network @SHouseStudio.

This week's cast included; @absurdistkobold, @codedude3, @ibplunderin, @thebendcook, and @lothlorien_elf.
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May 18, 2016  

Forrest had to miss for reasons, and Ivana decided to try her hand at another 1 shot. Technology tried to thwart her at every turn, but 4 recorded hours later, something resembling a narrative arc was achieved (I was able to whittle it down to right around a tight 3 hours). We probably ramble more than usual, and talk a bit about the upcoming trip to geeklycon and how we would love to interact with fans, should they want to chat us up or play some games. Cody plays a blowhard, I play a really dumb dragonborn, and Mollie is a surprisingly not evil dwarf rogue who came from a criminal background. By the time I realized that I might want to split this in two, I was about 83% done with the edit, so I just went ahead and put out a long one. Thanks for listening.

@Direweasels are @walk6070 (not appearing), @absurdistkobold, @arcanevice, @eskimomo9, and @codedude3. 

Send us email at direweasels@gmail.com, rate and review on itunes, and check out patreon.com/direweasels.

If you like what WE do, check out the other podcasts in the Glorious House of S network @SHouseStudio! If you don't like what we do, why did you download?
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February 17, 2016  

Forrest had his 21st birthday right before we recorded this episode, so Mollie escaped tax hell and we played a game. Cody and Mollie bring the energy, Ivana does all of the work, Forrest runs the game, and I bring the lethargy (sorry about that). The timing gets fucked for a little bit around 70 minutes. We play a game and we talk about trains.


@DireWeasels are@walk6070, @arcanevice, @absurdistkobold, @codedude3, @chalupabatman27, and @eskimomo9

Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels. Feel free to visit direweasels.podbean.com
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February 4, 2016  
Everyone loves a sweet text adventure! Well, maybe not everyone, but most people... right? Fine, how about amusement parks? REALLY? You're not even amused by the prospect of wild rides and sweet snack truck food? Playing hard ball eh? What if there was 100 bucks in it for ya, huh kid? Maybe even more... Join John and Forrest as they traverse TRACTION PARK, a thrilling amusement park, with a little more insanity and humor than most parks. 

Your @DireWeasels are Forrest @walk6070, Ivana @arcanevice, John @absurdistkobold, Cody @codedude3, Matt @chalupabatman27, and Mollie @eskimomo9! 

All rights to certain media go to their respective owners, Action Park Theme to whoever made it, and K. N. Granger for TRACTION PARK the Out Loud Text Adventure copyright by Goldfinch Games.


Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels. Feel free to visit direweasels.podbean.com
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December 25, 2015  

Happy Holiday(s) of choice, ladies and gents! The Ghostbusters rpg got a little out of hand and we ended up with some tasty bloopers. Thanks to @maybehiroshi for running the game and editing the epic result.

@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070, @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, and @eskimomo9

Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels. We have some new blurbs on the cast and characters page, which you can find at direweasels.podbean.com.
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December 22, 2015  

The gang (minus Forrest who was trying to better his life through passing his finals like a chump) get together and play the Ghostbusters rpg with special starguest/DM/guest editor Hiro (@maybehiroshi) with the participants displaying varying degrees of knowledge with the intellectual property involved. 47 hours of audio were trimmed into the tight 2 hours (or so) we ended up with here, thanks to his expert scalpel. Anyway, things happen, though I am about to give it the first listen (and it has been a couple of weeks) so I couldn't say for certain what. I could say that it will be a lot of fun.

@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070 (not appearing), @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, and @eskimomo9

Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels. We have some new blurbs on the cast and characters page, which you can find at direweasels.podbean.com.
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December 12, 2015  

Things get a little dark and edgy in this, the second part of the Wonderland Park Fiasco play set with special guest star Gwynn!

@direweasels are: Sexton Hardpenis @absurdistkobold, Hugh G. Dyck @walk6070, @chalupabatman27(not appearing in this episode), Herman Marshall @arcanevice, and Sarah Marshall @eskimomo9. Special guest star Jack Softsalot (Gwynn) @Cannoncanons
 
Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels

 

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December 8, 2015  

Lets keep it simple, this week the weasels play the Wonderland Park Fiasco play set with special guest star Gwynn!

@direweasels are: Sexton Hardpenis @absurdistkobold, Hugh G. Dyck @walk6070, @chalupabatman27(not appearing in this episode), Herman Marshall @arcanevice, and Sarah Marshall @eskimomo9. Special guest star Jack Softsalot (Gwynn) @Cannoncanons
 
Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels

 

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November 30, 2015  

Whilst missing our Arboreal Weasel, the remaining four talk for a solid half hour before venturing into a new RPG of the Space variety.

An emotionless android, a hotshot pilot and Madison...I mean a sexy soldier...venture off into the star studded abyss and accomplish nothing. Take a deep breath, close your eyes and let our dulcet tones caress your eardrums once more.

***Disclaimer: Don't close your eyes while driving. Also, stop reading this while driving and on your way home pick us up a bottle of Coke, yeah?***

@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070(not appearing in this episode), @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, and @eskimomo9
 
Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels
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November 16, 2015  

In this weeks episode we pay homage to one of the weasels' favorite podcast the Top 5 of Death (Check them out at www.Top5ofDeath.com) by giving our own top 4 list of Bad Movies. If you would like to vote on who's list you agree with the most, participate on our twitter poll www.twiter.com/direweasels or email us at direweasels@gmail.com .

@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070, @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice (not appearing in this episode), and @eskimomo9
 
Check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/direweasels .  Also, rate and review us on itunes (5 stars is the correct number of stars). Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels
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November 4, 2015  

This week is a very special Halloween episode, the Weasels play the Toil and Trouble Fiasco playset. Also, some spooky stories!

@direweasels are: Nickstella Slinkhard @absurdistkobold, Professor McGilicuddy @chalupabatman27, Nickbella Slinkhard @arcanevice, and Supreme Overseer @eskimomo9
 
Visit our patreon at patreon.com/direweasels, and see if there's anything cool there. Also, rate and review us on itunes. 5 stars is preferred! Email us direweasels@gmail.com or tweet us @direweasels. Thanks for listening. We're Sorry...
 
Music used in this episode is This Is Halloween by Danny Elfman
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October 12, 2015  

Matt, John, and Ivana get together and try out Chez Geek. John spends a lot of time talking mad shit about the band Train. That's pretty much it.

@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070, @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, @eskimomo9. 

Visit our patreon at patreon.com/direweasels, and see if there's anything cool there. Also, rate and review us in the district of the internet otherwise known as itunes. Thanks for listening ladies and gents.
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September 20, 2015  

Forrest wasn't able to record in the week that this episode was recorded (#gerboisafalsegod) so the rest of the Weasels soldered on and played Everyone is John. It's pretty damn silly, and Mollie ran the game, so you get to hear her talk a good bit more than in most episodes. This is going up early because we're sorry about the last episode going up late.

@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070, @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, @eskimomo9. 

Also, we have a patreon now. Feel free to check that out at patreon.com/direweasels. 
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August 17, 2015  

John, Matt, and Mollie play Drinking Quest! Testing...testing...

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July 15, 2015  

Gwynn also makes an appearance in the stream chat. Mort and John stream and mostly talk with Dyrtle while she supplies some of the worst fanfiction imaginable. John attempts to read this in dramatic fashion, but mostly gets upset at the grammar and spelling. This is a weird one, but hopefully it's entertaining for all of you folks.

@direweasels are: @absurdistkobold, @walk6070, @chalupabatman27, @arcanevice, @eskimomo9, and check out Mort (@mortimaus) and Dyrtle (@dyrtletheturtle), both of whom are awesome and always come through when we at Dire Weasels headquarters need some people to hang out for a non canonical episode.

Email us at direweasels@gmail.com and rate and review us at itunes. Also, feel free to visit us at direweasels.podbean.com. If you have any Patreon ideas, feel free to kick them our way, as we will definitely not be dropping that campaign on you all at episode 50.
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